Does it Count?

This morning I woke up at 5:00 a.m. Nothing special or unusual about that. Only, I neglected my yoga to shovel the remnants of Wednesday's winter storm warning. Maybe four inches. Except, the snow was the wet heavy snow that sticks to the shovel and makes sore your shoulders and back.

I had hoped to shovel both neighbors, but my plan was foiled, because like it or not, I still have to get to work on time. So I only shoveled my driveway and the neighbors closest to my house. I also cleaned off their car and my roomate's. Only...I do this about every time it snows if I have the time. And had the snow not been so wet and heavy, I would have had the time to do a little more, but I didn't.

Does kindness count when you're accustomed to doing it anyway? I'm feeling a little guilty about this. I'm feeling a lot like I should have done something more...

Warmth

It has been one of the coldest winters on record. And today was overcast, the sky hinting at a storm. It's the time of year when seasons affect mood, and the cold and dark days combined with the cold and dark sky are enough to make one want to stay inside and hibernate until spring.

Today, I went for a walk on my lunch break from work. I stopped by the Bluebird cafe (which is adorable) and got two $5 gift certificates to no one in particular and from an anonymous passer by (me). A few weeks ago, we received cards from some organization like the World Wildlife Fund with Polar Bears posing in the arctic snow. Inside, that cards are blank. I wrote: "Here is one way to stay warm in the winter cold." I placed the gift card underneath the words. On the envelopes, I wrote "Hey you!" and "Open Me". As I walked back to the office, I left them in random, highly visible places around town. (See in the tree).

I paused after two women were heading in that direction to watch as they looked at the envelope, and then decided to keep walking so they wouldn't think it was me that had left it there. I don't know if they took it, or if someone else found it. I don't know who found the other one, or if they were warmed by stealing away from the cold and sipping coffee at some corner table.

I do know that something in my soul was warmer, more vibrant, almost giddy for the rest of the afternoon.

Listen

I'm tired this morning. And broke. And things keep breaking in my life that I don't have the money to pay for. My microwave, garage door, oven. I live pay check to pay check. I worry with impressive consistence about my own struggles. Even still, it's a beautiful struggle. Because if I open up my ears to the sounds around me, I can still hear the sound of the river during my lunch walk, birds in the morning, my favorite song on Pandora at work...

And as mundane as those sounds may be, I do not hear, even if I lay low to the ground and listen as carefully as I can, the cries of ones who have lost everything they owned. Which wasn't much to begin with. Even now, I sit as still as a stone. And no. There aren't the muffled cries of those who are dying in the rubble alone. Or the cries of a child who can't find home, his family, not a soul he or she knows. I can't hear the heartbreak of a parent who is scraping for the body of their child, knowing the soul is gone already.



I'm pretty far removed from catastrophe. From the disaster of Haiti. It would be pretty easy to go on about my day unbothered and apathetic. Today, on CNN.com their daily survey asks: "Are you planning on donating money to Haiti?" 66% answered no. These are hard times for us all. These are the times that try men's souls. And all we can do is try, all of us, to scrape by the best way we know how. I can't quit my job and go to Haiti, handing out water to those dying of thirst. I don't even have much money to give. But I have a jar of loose change in my closet, $20 of unspent money I got in a Christmas card. It isn't much, but it's something. And matched with prayer, maybe a miracle can make it into more. Today I will donate to the Red Cross. My measly $30 might not make much of a change, but it isn't going to change my life for the worse to give it away.

If you have time, watch the news. Think about how lucky we all are to have woken up warm bed this morning. To have food on the table. To see the sun rise again and fall on the face of the ones we love. How we are blessed.
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If you do plan on donating, please make sure that it's a legitimate, well established charity.

Surround Sound

Maybe this should have already been blatantly and abundantly clear, but I have come to a conclusion about kindness:

True kindness involves true listening.

It involves more than showing up and bumping into conversations that you have while your mind has its own traffic you attend to. Acts of kindness are the result of being present to listen fully to another. In fact, listening attentively is an act of kindness in itself. My good friend Katie has proven this time and time again. She is the most present listener that I know. Even with her (then two, now three) children running around, she is able to magically be present for each word. I never doubt that I am heard when I am with her. She listens with such presence that it makes me want to say things worth listening to. I want to listen like this.

I'm not there yet. I know about frantic paces, unrealistic expectations, and trying to keep up in this world. But taking breaks from the pace to breathe, to be present, to listen to the world around me isn't something I do often enough.

I've done the smallest amount of research on listening, and found the following for inspiration:

* "Prayer is when you talk to God; Meditation is when you listen to God." - Diana Robinson

* The reality of another person lies not in what he reveals to you, but what he cannot reveal to you. Therefor, if you would understand him, listen not to just what he says, but rather what he does not say." - Kalil Gibran

* "Listen a hundred times, ponder a hundred times, speak once." -Turkish proverb

* "Listening is a strange magnetic thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand. "
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I am thinking that listening is an act of love, of leaving room enough for others to grow. It is meditative and holy; it is recognizing the presence of God in front of and around me. It is being surrounded by the song of life unfolding. I am trying to hear , and I have an idea that it takes BEING HERE NOW.

Recipe for Health and Happiness

So here it is. Eve of the first Thursday of a New Year. This is a time for new beginnings, fresh starts, for resolutions (if you make them). My act of kindness this week is centered around helping people fulfill their resolutions to be healthier this year.

On Sunday, I was inspired by a beautiful woman I bumped into while running. The air was crisp, but not biting. The sky fragmented with remnants of a storm that had just past. My ipod was broken! I can see now that there was a good reason for it. Music is a great motivator, but i-pods isolate listeners from the world around them. Had I been plugged in, I might have missed what happened next.

A couple was out shoveling snow, and as I passed, a woman I didn't know initiated a conversation. She gave me compliments on my appearance of health and shared with me that she had lost 30 pounds in the last year and had 15 more to go in 2010. We talked about how sometimes exercise seems counter-intuitive. When you're too tired to exercise, you just feel like staying in, but if you can find it within yourself to get moving, energy instantly follows. We talked about having happy holidays and our gratitude to get back to regular routines and eating more healthfully. It was five minutes, that I stopped, maybe. And it was another half hour that I thought about her afterward.

She was so proud of her accomplishment and so inspired to continue making healthier choices in 2010. I thought about how, when we care for ourselves, we interact with the world differently. When we feel good about ourselves, we are good to others, because we are less likely to be caught up in feeling bad about ourselves and feeling bad in general. I wanted to help her, and a few others who I knew had made this their resolution. But how could I do this in some covert way?

The solution? A few weeks ago, I was looking for a new recipe and thumbing through old issues of Cooking Light. I love this magazine for recipe inspiration. The food is healthy, and the ads and articles seem less about superficial health and looking good and more about real health--about feeling good. So, if bought four gift subscriptions to various people, including the beautiful woman who I met on Sunday. I did not specify who they were from. I will, however, send cards wishing them an inspired, healthy, happy year. And at my sister's request, I will explain that Cooking Light is my favorite place to find inspiration for healthy meals (lest they think it a rude insinuation).

If you know of others who want to eat healthier, subscriptions to many magazines are on sale right now. If you don't have money, copy your favorite healthy recipe/s on pretty paper and give it out to people you know who are trying to be healthier. Start a healthy recipe exchange in your office. Cook for your family or friends, and set aside time to be grateful for another year of life.

May you be blessed with health and happiness this New Year! Happy cooking and acts of kindness!
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Here is one of my favorite healthy meals lately to serve as a side or main dish (from vegetariantimes.com):

Quinoa Salad with Orange-Cumin Vinaigrette

Vegetarian Times Issue: January 1, 2008 p.85 — Member Rating: -

This light winter salad makes a satisfying meal, thanks to quinoa, a whole grain that’s high in protein.

Ingredient List

Serves 4

• 1/3 cup sliced almonds
• 1 cup quinoa, rinsed and drained
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 1/3 cup dried apricots, diced into small pieces
• 1/3 cup raisins
• 1/3 cup fresh orange juice
• 1 shallot, finely chopped (2 Tbs.)
• 2 Tbs. chopped fresh parsley
• 2 Tbs. chopped cilantro
• 2 Tbs. chopped fresh mint
• 1 Tbs. grated orange zest
• 1/2 tsp. ground cumin
• 1/2 tsp. ground coriander
• 2 Tbs. olive oil
• 2 oranges, peels sliced off and sections cut out

Directions

1. Toast almonds 4 to 5 minutes in dry skillet or toaster oven, or until pale brown and fragrant, stirring often.
2. Bring 2 cups water to a boil in medium saucepan. Add quinoa and salt, reduce heat to medium-low and simmer 15 minutes, or until tender and almost all water is absorbed. Drain, then transfer to large bowl. Toss with apricots and raisins.
3. Whisk together orange juice, shallot, parsley, cilantro, mint, orange zest, cumin, and coriander. Whisk in oil. Pour dressing over quinoa, and toss to coat. Garnish with orange slices and toasted almonds.

Nutritional Information Per SERVING: Calories: 383, Protein: 9g, Total fat: 13.5g, Saturated fat: 1.5g, Carbs: 61g, Cholesterol: mg, Sodium: 161mg, Fiber: 7g, Sugars: 22g

* I use what I have on hand for the nuts and dried fruit. Also, I rarely put in fresh chopped mint or parsley, but I love cilantro! I use this as a main dish served over arugula, or as a side served with tofu or chicken.

You Must Be The Change You Wish to See in the World

In 1954 John Steinbeck's novel Sweet Thursday was published.

In 1997 I was a senior in a small town high school and deeply longed for a different life.

Sweet Thursday was a sequel to Cannery Row, and acquired its title because Sweet Thursday is the day after Lousy Wednesday and the day before Waiting Friday.

Sweet Thursday took on an entirely different, and circuitously related meaning for me. Tired of the teen angst and apathy around me, I turned to books for an escape. Steinbeck's novels appealed to me because, although overly dramatic, I believed I was going through my own Great Depression. The Grapes of Wrath painted so honestly images of people who were persevering in the face of much greater troubles than mine. It was inspiring. So too, were the words of my mother, "Maybe the best way to forget about your own problems is to quit thinking about yourself and do something for someone else."

I heard her words, but wasn't ready to listen or act upon them. Instead, I checked out book after book by John Steinbeck from the public library. Eventually, I read Sweet Thursday. And I thought about how for many people Wednesdays were lousy and Fridays were the days people waited for the weekends. I thought about how a good portion of many people's lives were spent sourly waiting for moments they could call their own. For brief sparks of joy. For some small sweetness to satiate them. I decided to take my mom's advice and create a life not so much about my so called "hard times."

So, on Thursdays, I began practicing Random Acts of Kindness. Every week I had something to look forward to, a moment to create, some small and bright instant to illuminate my life.

This has been a hard winter, and before it winds up being the winter of my discontent, I better realize that Thursday is almost here. That there are 52 weeks in 2010-which means there are 52 opportunities to create moments of joy in the lives of those around me.

Maybe I won't change the world, but I'll settle for being the better version of myself.